had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize