I don't think brook has ever known best
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
