pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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