dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
