he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
