Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Farmville is her only friend.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize