Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
