East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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