is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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