It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
