I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Someone shattered a urinal.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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