So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
