My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
