i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
