I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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