You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
