I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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