if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
it was like eating out sand paper
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize