Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
