My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
