you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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