Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
