people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
