you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I didn't notice because vodka
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
