YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize