Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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