When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
