Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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