Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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