you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
