Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
