I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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