I'm drive I can fine osifer
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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