i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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