Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
NoShamevember. You game?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Oh god it's open bar.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
