we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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