OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
