it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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