Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We had sex on a dog bed..
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