'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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