I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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