we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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