Dual....:-)
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
ok first of all what the fuck
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
