i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I understand Curling. That high.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
