Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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