Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
