at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
