how hairy? two words: wookie tits
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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