Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I looked at my own cervix.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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