I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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