Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
