Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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