have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
