So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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