we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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