do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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