I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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