she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Randomize
