you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
