its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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